Where do I fit anymore?

I have not been doing well lately and have been forgetting important things such as taking my med's or checking my blood sugar. I went out to the "Gothic broken hearts masquerade ball" and only the second one I ever go to go too but damn was it crowded. I cannot believe how out of place I felt with my own people BUT I never get out so I think I have lost my place in the communities. For a while I was getting issues in the VC because I can't help being clinically depressed BUT I absolutely hate drama esp in my life and stuff I watch; I am doing everything I can to stay away from those negative things in my life that bring me down. I do my best to redeem myself but I wonder if I am destined to solitude although I am an aspie so why shouldn't I want that when I do not understand people or why most are the way they are as a social creature I still want some kid of community but I am just lost anymore it seems too often...